I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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