I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
