I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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