So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
