You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
