HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
