A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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