i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So vagazzling was a success
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
