Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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