You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
