I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
