I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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