i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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