If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Damn victory sex feels great
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
