Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
