Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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