Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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