Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
