Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
