She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
