you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
