Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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