If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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