If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
