come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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