My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
