Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
