he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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