oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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