But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Please, let me fuck your mom
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
