Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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