His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
