Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
