she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
