Yo dont text me then not text me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
