my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
