He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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