Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
