Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
