I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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