Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
