so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
