if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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