so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
