I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
