You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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