32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
