i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
