trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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