I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
