Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
