grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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