apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
