Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
only you would photoshop your dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're a waste of cheezeits
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
how drunk are you?
Several
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
